Like most UK men’s sheds Dorking Men’s Shed is a place to pursue practical interests at leisure, to practice skills and enjoy making and mending in our well equipped workshop. We founded our shed in 2019 and it is about more than craft activities, it is about social connections and building friendship groups, sharing skills and knowledge, and a great deal of humour.
Men typically find it more difficult to build and maintain social connections than women, and unlike women of a similar age, fewer older men have networks of friends and rarely share concerns about health and personal worries. It is not the case for all men, but for some when retirement comes it can feel like personal identity, purpose and self esteem is lost.
Locally we find many of our members worked afield for years, concentrating on work and family. When they retire they find they miss the team they were part of and their local community connections are actually quite limited. For some this can lead to social isolation and loneliness.
Retirement is listed as one of the ten most stressful life events and the loneliness that often comes with it has implications for our health. Research shows people with strong social bonds are 50 per cent less likely to die over a period of time than people without a strong social network. Put bluntly, loneliness is a killer. (Sunday Times July 2022)
According to the Mental Health Foundation information, excessive numbers of men;
- experience depression, anxiety, panic attacks or OCD
- take their own lives
- do not access psychological therapies
- go missing or become homeless
- experience problem alcohol or drug use
- take medication for depression
Dorking Men’s Shed is about meeting like-minded people, having fun, sharing skills and gaining a renewed sense of purpose and belonging.
One of our members agreed to share his personal testimony, as follows;
He is an older man who lost his wife two years ago. He is supported by his family but they live some distance away. Compounded by lockdown and decreasing mobility he admitted he had a very low mood and was isolated, feeling he existed but did not have a life. He described afternoons as hanging very heavily for him as he lost ‘a great bunch of mates’ when he retired.
Previously a gregarious and outgoing man he said he had become shy and lost confidence as a conversationalist. After visiting the shed for a few sessions, then joining as a member he has:
- developed a new friendship group reducing his loneliness and isolation
- re-acquainted himself with a lost contact
- participated in craft sessions and learnt a new skill
- personally cooked a meal from ingredients for the first time in his life
- a focus for the week and looks forward to his visits
- something to talk about and can share conversation with a wider group
- significantly improved his mental health and therefore his lived experience
His family describe him as ‘transformed and animated’ with a renewed purpose in life.
Dorking Men’s Shed is a registered charity with a small management board, some of whom are trustees. We are currently located at Hampstead Road, Dorking. We are not a faith organisation nor a training or therapeutic agency.
Looking back at 2022, our members have;
- made repaired and up-cycled small items in our workshop
- manufactured mainly wooden items for example, for local schools, Dorking Museum, Dorking in Bloom, such as bird boxes and park benches to name a few
- restored a derelict hidden garden at the shed into a green tranquil space, for men who do not or can no longer have a garden
- welcomed external speakers from helping organisations such as Prostate UK and Sight for Surrey
- installed a dual facility kitchen. Our food technician tutor has run sessions for men to learn to cook nutritious food for themselves, to improve well-being
During lockdown we commenced a weekly ‘Wednesday walk’ through the Surrey Hills for those able, which continues to this day.
Over 20 of our men participated in a bespoke well-being programme led by a professional facilitator and specially funded by Surrey County Council. After ten sessions during lockdown we are very proud of this initiative. The resulting personal testimonies showed that participants had experienced a profound positive effect on their outlook and lives.
Gather any group of retired men together and you’ll find an array of untapped skills – and even if you have no ‘practical’ skills you will find a very warm welcome at Dorking Men’s Shed.
We encourage all local men over 18 to visit the shed a few times when we have sessions between 9am and 1pm on Thursdays and Saturdays. When you are more acquainted with shed life, you can join as a member. The annual cost for membership is £52 per year, which in value terms is one pound per week. If a single payment would be difficult for you please speak to us.
We look forward to meeting you.
David Tobitt
Chair, DMS